Today we are going to build on our last blog where we redefined conflict as “a gap between what we expect and what we experience. ©”  If we shift our thinking of conflict to a gap, then our next step is to gain clarity on the gap.

There are four primary types of gaps we may experience:

Results: This can be the most obvious gap we experience. For example, someone doesn’t meet a sales goal, show up on time, or misses a due date.

Understanding: Underneath the results gap can be a gap in our understanding. This could be an understanding of what was required, who was assigned the task, or what a task entailed. In a future blog we will address how to minimize the impact of conversational error. The all too likely outcome of many conversations.

Expectations: Expectations are often left unstated. Often times we define a task and we aren’t clear about the broader expectation or we have expectations of how someone should conduct themselves.

Beliefs: These are the hardest and can be the most difficult to discern. Beliefs often sit under the surface but they drive everything from our behaviors to our work.

Tip #2: Next time you find yourself in conflict ask yourself in which of these areas are you experiencing the gap. Be aware that you may have a gap in multiple areas.