Our ability to question is fundamental to everything we do.
Have you noticed that as we get older, our ability to question decreases? We start out life as this little bundle of energy that questions everything around us. Who hasn’t seen the toddler ask a series of “why” questions until our knowledge reservoir is depleted? Often these questions make us stop and think about things we take for granted like “why is the sky blue.”
Why do we lose our capacity to question?
The reasons we do not question are vast and complex. We spend our lives collecting knowledge and then think it our responsibility to spout what we have learned like a lawn sprinkler to anyone within ear shot. Some of us learned from our parents “don’t ask.” Then we turn into an incarnation of our parents in our professional lives. Although we all have heard the quote “there is no such thing as a stupid question” we still feel we will look stupid if we ask questions. Maybe someone even made us feel stupid. Each of us has our own reasons why we might not be questioning more often.
What keeps us from asking more questions?
It is about our beliefs. We can start by “interrogating” what we tell ourselves about the role of questions in our day to day conversations. Ask yourself “What is holding me back?” The answer might not be evident at first blush and it takes continued reflection and interrogation.Next time you are in a meeting, want to ask a question and find yourself wearing the opaque veil of your reasons; ask yourself “why am I holding back?” You might think “I am new to the company, so I don’t know enough to ask any questions?” Once you hear your reason or “belief”, test your assumption by asking “is that true” or “is there an alternate belief that will get a better result?” Because you are new, you might be the best person to ask questions because you have fresh eyes. Asking questions might help you establish yourself as a leader while also being of value to the organization.
What if I don’t have questions to ask?
A little pre-planning goes a long way. Before a team meeting, a conversation with a colleague, or especially with a customer, ask yourself “What are the key strategic questions we need to address?” Simple, thought out questions can go a long way.
I like to keep simple “hip pocket” questions that are easy to use and can be applied quickly in a variety of situations. I call them hip pocket questions because they are right there and ready to use any time. Some examples are: “Can you tell me more about that?” “What does that mean to you?” “What else?” “What does your gut tell you?” Come up with your own simple questions that work for you.
Ultimately, it is our ability to ask questions, not our ability to have the answers that can shift the path of a stream or move a mountain. I am humbled by the quote, “When you are talking you are only repeating what you already know, when you listen you might learn something new.” Questioning everything opens the door for all us to learn something new. Be that person.