Have you ever been part of something at work that just blew up? A major problem, client complaint or other catastrophe? You know how it goes…you’re called into that fateful meeting, heart pounding, wondering if it’s your time on the chopping block, all the while wishing an invisibility cloak actually existed because it seems like the whole company is waiting for you to get what’s coming next.
I have experienced these problems and I have called these meetings. I have run the witch trials looking around the room searching for someone to persecute. Looking back, I know it’s wrong to do this in a group setting.
For some reason, we all show up at these meetings and anxiously watch the drama unfold at the expense of our coworker. Maybe we can’t help it. Maybe we need to admit that at some level we enjoy watching the “stoning”. In ancient times the entire town would show up for a stoning, an execution, and to see who was in the stockades. It seems we have institutionalized this “public shaming” in some companies.
Although this approach might be self satisfying, unfortunately it doesn’t solve the problem and only creates bigger problems down the road.
We all have a tendency to want to blame others for problems rather than taking ownership. I have seen the following question asked of someone, in a meeting, in front of 20 other people:
“Did you intend to screw this up or are you just incompetent?”
Certainly there are better, more productive questions we can ask instead. If we stop to think about it, we might realize that no one wants to screw up or do a bad job. As a matter of fact, people want to do a good job and feel good about their work. So let’s stop assuming the worst. It can be infuriating to those in leadership positions when seemingly simple tasks get royally screwed up. But it’s our job as leaders to find the cause, not pile on the shame. We can’t expect our team to grow from their mistakes if we chastise them so severely that they give up on learning and trying to do their best work.
One way to break the cycle of violence and madness is to ask different questions. Questions can help re-frame the issue and put the focus where it belongs (away from the anger). Consider subbing blame and shame questions with these:
-If we were to describe the problem in a way where we aren’t blaming anyone, how would you describe it?
-What systems/procedures or cultural paradigms exist in our organization that cause this to happen?
-What were we talking about or not talking about that got us here?
-If we could have put anything in place in our organization that could have kept this from happening, what could we have done?
If you let anger lead the meeting, you do a disservice to your team which ultimately creates more work for you.