Happy Holidays friends. As usual, when discussing leadership qualities, I won’t be sugar coating it for you. We’re getting enough sugar anyway with all the Christmas cookies right? Let’s jump right in:
Asking yourself “Am I Waiting?” is a reminder. W.A.I.T is an acronym that serves as a prompt to stop and listen.
It means Why Am I Talking?
In this realm, I will confess that I am an extrovert in need of my own 12 step program. I get into a conversation and out comes the voice screaming in my head…this voice wants to share my perspective and my ideas…and it takes over like Hannibal marching across the Alps.
There are times I walk away from a conversation and wonder why I was talking so much. There are times after leading a meeting, I walk away wondering why I was the one talking the most.
Part of that is the sin of being an extrovert. The other is the wrong assumption that we as leaders need to talk more, not less. We believe that we are in our position because we are the smartest one in the room and need to drive people in a particular direction.
The bottom line is: whether in a group or individual setting, whether an introvert or extrovert, a leader or follower, many of us find ourselves in a situation where we want to jump in to share our ideas. Talking about what is most interesting to us and telling people what we think they should do comes naturally; listening does not.
If we stop and listen we provide an opportunity for the other person to talk. This is much easier said than done, especially for us extroverts – we can’t help ourselves! I admit that for me it is almost a compulsion, and the W.A.I.T prompt is one of the leadership qualities I work on consistently. Introverts are much better at this technique. They know how to keep silent and letting others speak.
Having worked with extroverted executives, there is a belief that they are good at coaching. Many are not. This is because they don’t WAIT. They jump in too often and take over before allowing the team to truly contribute. It is even harder for the extrovert when talking with an introvert because the introvert tends to be quieter, less verbose and less expansive. Answers are much shorter. So the extrovert feels they need to jump in and fill in the blank. Is this you?
Don’t feel bad – it’s MOST of us. This week the Questions of Leadership are truly for the leaders. Remember the W.A.I.T acronym and ask yourself these questions to help you with one of the leadership qualities I find the hardest: not talking!
-Who is talking more?
-How can I get others talking more?
-Do I need to share my ideas or can my team determine their own conclusions?
-Am I helping the conversation or hurting it by taking over?
-How can I best help the situation without leading the conversation?